My Story
Beauty For Ashes
When I was 9 yrs old my parents separated and I felt Abandoned by my Father. Soon after, my grandmother who was every little girl’s dream, died. I was Heart Broken. When I was 13 yrs I was Raped by a friend. I was Violated. I was physically Abused by my step-father and Mistreated. At 14 I found my soulmate and my first love. At 17 we broke up. I was Grieved. That same year I was pregnant by my soon to be husband. Still tied to my soulmate, pregnant and engaged I was so Confused. We married when I was 20. 3 months later we found out that indeed this was my soul mates baby. I was Crushed.
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2yrs passed by and its time for my soulmate and my husband to co-parent. I was Torn-in-2. At 25 we separated, at 27 we had another child and at 28 we separated again. About six months into the last separation infidelity and knowledge of a 3month old child ended the marriage. I was Betrayed. The divorce was final at 29. Ripped Apart. In the Pain of my healing, disguised as help, I was Conned. At 30 I was Alone. At 31 I had Rebelled. And this is where my story begins.... October 2021.
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In October of 2021 I had COVID-19. I had flu like symptons that kept getting worse. I finally went to the hospital because I was very short of breathe when exerting little to no effort. I was admitted shortly after arriving. I had a COVID induced pneumonia. I then went through a week long process of getting my oxygen levels back to normal. During that time I was completely alone as I could not have any visitors because of the high risk of covid exposure.
It was scary, there were so many doctors and not to mention I laid in a bed all day for hours. I was finally able to leave, but I realized that my departure was more impactful than the entire week of being admitted. While I was being discharged, I observed some people in really bad shape and I began to wonder if they would get the opportunity to leave the same way I was. It hurt my heart to understand how blessed I was to be going home. I started to wonder, if I was able to leave, then God must have something major for me to accomplish.
When I got home I had this rebirth alignment experience I can not explain. I talked to some really close friends that encouraged me to understand that this "happening" was a really good thing. I took a week to understand what exactly God wanted out of my life and why he needed to get my attention so severely. As I recovered back to good health, I have earnestly been seeking God. I don't want to be be so far away from His presence, that he forces me into isolation, and I don't want to miss what God is doing.
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Ever since then I have been working on myself everyday in different ways and staying close to His voice.
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